Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
