I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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