Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
