yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
