His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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