i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
