So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
