Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize