Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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