do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Randomize
