New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
