At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
