After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
