I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
