Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It all started with a game of naked twister.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
