Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
