i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
