I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
