When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
