Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
