i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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