Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize