Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
