I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize