i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
