Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize