Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize