Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
