why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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