just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
