Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize