i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
