also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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