i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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