we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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