my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
