Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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