just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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