Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Randomize
