One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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