And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
