the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
