I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
