The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
