then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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