One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize