Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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