I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
