I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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