If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think i got beer on your cat.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
