So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
