Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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