i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
