He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish you could order shots online.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize