he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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