just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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