Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
